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The travesty!  The injustice!  The unmitigated gall!  How dare Lifetime try to remake the film “Steel Magnolias?”  Yet, that is exactly what it’s going to do.   This week, Lifetime announced it would remake the film with an all black cast.  I don’t care if the cast is black, Hispanic, Asian or martian… no one should remake that movie!!!

Maybe I am partial because I am a Southerner and the film rings true to my Louisiana roots, but I just don’t see how you are going to find actresses to fill such big shoes.  Would you remake “The Wizard of Oz?”  Or “Gone With the Wind?”  Has Hollywood lost all creativity that no one can come up with a good idea and Lifetime is left with no choice but to steal from “Steel?”

Those classic lines run through my head… “Drink your juice, Shelby!  Drink your juice.”  Or “Mama, my colors are blush and bashful.”  Or “The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money that God.”

And a personal favorite:  “All gay men have track lightin’ and all gay men are named Mark, Rick or Steve.”

Please, oh please, leave M’Lynn, Ouiser, Clairee, Truvy, Annelle and Shelby alone.   My poor Southern heart can’t take it.

I have to go.  I need to change the bulbs in my track lighting.

–franklySTEVE